So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
