her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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