Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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