he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Text me some of your sweat
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
