Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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