I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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