I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
