that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just want to make out with him forever
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
