You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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