I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
