question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
