wakey wakey hands off snakey
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
