This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
