no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
