I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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