my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
