I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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