Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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