i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
