Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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