I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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