some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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