so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize