doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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