when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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