He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
whose parrot is this?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
