Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
