what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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