the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize