I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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