What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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