apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
