Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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