And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
