This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize