Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Your cock deserves a montage
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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