Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
