Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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