I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
