first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize