She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
