We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize