People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We need to get me chipped asap
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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