He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
