Who did Billy Mays play for?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
