So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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