Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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