He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
