I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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