The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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