I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize