Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
