It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
