ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
