I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
It's Friday. Sex?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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