Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
