so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
