That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
