At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
