ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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