What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
