Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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