even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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